I Am This Woman

Think back and remember your favorite Christmas gifts. I bet there are only a handful of them. It’s hard to have more than five bests (five is a handful, right?). Amidst all the commercial hype, the relentless selling machine and the almost obscene load of presents under your tree right now, think ahead to Christmas morning when one or two will emerge as Best. If you are lucky.

It’s really difficult to predict, but it’s what we all strive for when giving someone a present. We all hope for that moment of fame, and nomination into that pantheon of Best Gift EVER. But upon analysis, it’s very hard to manufacture that feeling. That bestness doesn’t just happen, nor can it really be calculated. It’s the X factor. And like fame, that best status is fleeting.

So maybe instead of pining away for that coveted status, or taking the word of the advertising/marketing machine as to what is a Best Gift, take a moment in your holiday celebrating to become anthropologist to your own life. Observe and mentally record the data: what category of gift produced what kind of response? Note your kinship to that person and try to factor out the insignificant variables. Focus on the significant ones.

• Did they smile when they received the gift?
• Is the gift a tangible item that will last for a while or be used everyday?
• Is the gift an experience that you’ll share? an appreciation, a game, a good read, Godivas?
• Did the giver wreck financial health to get the gift, and/or is that gift in some way going to “one-up” or demonstrate a lack of something to the recipient in a negative way?
• Did the giver smile when the gift was received?

If you think about it, the best gifts are rarely the most expensive (although big ticket items can hit the spot) or the most elaborate (though the scavenger hunt for the Wii last year was awesome). Most of the time, there’s a serendipity — a pleasant and fortunate surprise — to a gift that ranks as best. Or there is evidence of some kind of transformation in the giver. “I discovered how important XYZ is to me because of you, and I wanted to honor that.” “You turned me on to Godivas, so of course I wanted you to have some!”

As much as we all say it with irony, it really is the thought that counts. So put thought into your gifts, and think about the rich blessings you have in the simple gifts you receive (or the many gifts).

However, if dissatisfaction is looming, if you are still agonizing over what to get someone, change the future. Give a piece of your heart by donating to a bonafide charity in that person’s honor. Here are two ways to do just that:

Heifer International helps world families and communities by providing them with the agricultural needs to build beyond a subsistence living. A couple of geese, a sheep for wool, a goat herd for milk and meat.

Changing the Present is a website where you can shop for all kinds of charities and levels of giving. Do you like Housing? Browse around and discover how you can fund one afternoon of after-school programs for homeless kids. Love the earth? Plant trees or conserve wildlife.

Give it some thought, make the donation and write a thoughtful note to that person. Or call them and say “I’m thinking of you.” (See a theme here?)