I Am This Woman

(29 of 50)

Call me “Four Eyes.” Actually, I have bifocals, so that would be “Six Eyes.”

One part of aging is the inevitable need for glasses. This started for me in my mid-30s when I was in graduate school and reading a lot. But I didn’t believe it. I look back and see the truth now. However, at the time, I thought it was just overuse (which it probably ALSO was). Lots of reading in grad school and not all of it can be done at optimum ergonomics.

Finally, around 42, I succumbed to getting some “cheaters” as they are called, and it rocked my world.

About three years ago, I got a new Rx and said yes to the “progressive” lenses. That means there is a gradation in the lens, so you wear the glasses all the time and look through the bottom when you need to. I only needed the lower half to be reading strength. But what was NOT explained to me appropriately is a) you lose about 60% of your field of vision (the effective area is an hourglass shape), and b) there is a pretty serious learning curve/adjustment period. It takes a while to retrain the brain, but it does happen… eventually (I’m told).

I put the glasses on and immediately became nauseated – almost lost my balance there in the store. No, said I. Send them back. I want real glasses, nothing fancy. Which I got, but I chose frames that were uncomfortable and then never went back. Just hated them for a while, and then bought some Walgreen’s specials for $15. Why go Rx, when the cheapos work so well?

In the past year, I bought some really stylin’ reading glasses from ICU – one in purple paisley, one in blue flowers – both very 70s mod. I needed them 50% of my day, so I ended up wearing these on the top of my head. This is a pretty common fashion look for people of a certain age.

But, again with overuse, I needed a stronger Rx. So last month, I visited an optician who turned out to be a very nice lady who knows how to communicate and helped me get past some of my apparent overachieving on the eye test. I really CAN see the 20/10 line *but it hurts*. It’s a long and dull story, so I’ll cut to the chase. Don’t try to ace the eye exam. She explained to me that you should have instant recognition of the charts, with NO kind of strain, squint or overthinking.

Before filling my script, however, my son got his new glasses which corrected for nearsightedness. One night driving home, he handed me his glasses to hold and I put them on. Uh oh. I could see the road signs perfectly. No straining, no telling myself my eyes were tired, or that I was spending too much time on the computer… no rationalization, overthinking or straining.

I went back to the eye doctor lady and we had another illuminating discussion (ha ha, no pun intended but there it is!). She added a nearsighted thingey to my Rx, and off to the glasses store I went. They have improved progressives so that the effective area is now 60%, and the price tag is 40% higher (there is still the older style available). Being the flinty Scot that I am, I did not go for the progressives again. Will I ever? I don’t know.

But now I have bifocals which I wear for everything except sitting and talking to someone on the couch (at a normal conversational distance, neither correction works, so up on my head they go). The lower half is for reading/computer/knitting, the upper half is for driving/television/movies. So, that’s six ways of seeing (three ways by two eyes). I might go to progressives when the price comes down a bit AND I have time for the two SOLID weeks of adjustment. Meanwhile, I’ll be jerking my head ever so slightly to see things clearly under or over the line.