Life and Death During the Holidays
It’s all around us all the time. But this time of year, the matters of life and death are on our minds more poignantly, and I have to wonder why. Both in a shake my fist at the sky kind of way, and a tender headtilt “there, there” kind of way.
Death. A car ran a red light last Monday and could have killed me, had I not been distracted as my light turned green. I finally putt-putted out into the intersection, only to see a silver streak of sedan go zooming in front of my car with six feet to spare. Another two seconds either way, and someone would be dead. I drop off the Kid at school, and then get dead. Not a great way to start the week, in thought or in actuality.
Death. A dear friend that I care about more than I can adequately say has told me he does not want to live. He works in hospice care, and has just been told that he himself has some rather dire and eventually life-threatening health issues. On top of all his other troubles with the IRS and other things, his dear dog of 15 years is failing. Good days still outnumber the bad ones for the doggie, but the bad days are very bad, more numerous and scarier. How much can one person take? How much or how little will it take to give him hope? How do you wrap hope and how much postage will it take?
Life or death. Traffic at the mall, on the freeway, anywhere within a four block radius of Wal-Mart (isn’t that nearly the whole world?). Gotta get that parking space, gotta have that extra 15% off, gotta get that last string of lights/box of ornaments/banner that will declare my love for human kind BEFORE THE NEXT SHOPPER!!! Fer crissake, I’ve got things to do, groceries to buy, people coming over … GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY. I GOT YOUR ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’ RIGHT HERE!!!
Life. Greens in the house, candles and light, caroling, wassailing, parties, cookies, thinking about babies and new beginnings, giving, receiving. Distant family, old friends, more love.
Life. Bills, business, errands, groceries, dirty coffee cups, laundry, new tires, oil changes, supper, commuting, colds, soup, hankies, weatherstripping, muddy dogs, wet leaves, forgotten lunches, oversleeping.
Where is the balance point? Do we have any control really, or do we just surf along with what comes?
Ultimately, it’s a choice. Choose to be angry, hurried, hassled. Choose to be calm, patient, hopeful. Choose to do the best you can with what you have, choose to squander your chances, choose to refuse all help, choose to die. Even not choosing is a choice.
Choosing patience and serenity in the midst of strife, however, takes a big heart and a disciplined mind, which is why it’s so hard not to get shirty when someone takes your parking space. I don’t know what I’d do if I were faced with the adversity that my friend faces, but I know that if I were bleeding and maimed in a car accident last Monday, I would certainly have chosen to fight for life, if only for the simple reason that someone has to pick up the Kid at 3 p.m., pay the bills and do the laundry. And once you get past that, a whole lot more reasons for choosing life come to mind.
George Bailey faced a similar turning point, and as we all know, he had an angel to help him find hope. If it’s not too much hubris or schmaltz, I’m calling on that angel now to come help my friend, and all the others who suffer. Help them see the choices, make good decisions and have a nice hot cup of tea while they are waiting for the results.